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Weird Druggie Woman And Creepy Nfl Husband - Calling Police For No Reason - Help!

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Posted 10 June 2014 - 03:56 PM



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I'm a council tenant. Previous tenants here have all been from this council district but recently my council started housing people from all over the county.


We've been here 12 years. Our lovely ex neighbour lived here 20 years and never intended to move, but in the end, bedroom tax forced her out.


Our house is one of only four, between two villages, on a country lane. Sounds idyllic? And it was. Two of the council houses here were bought and two still council owned (we're in the middle, so have a council neighbour one side, privately owned house on other). We have always got on brilliantly with all our neighbours, the old council tenant and the people in the bought houses and people further down our lane.


Last Sept, our council in its wisdom gave the empty house to a young family. Woman, man and 2 kids - 3 and 1 years old. Very odd, we thought as they were paying bedroom tax from the day they moved in and every time a 3 bed house has come up round here, it has gone to much larger families and families with disabled members.  In the second week, the woman waited til my husband went out one evening and when I was alone, came and knocked on our door. She said could we be quieter as her husband was complaining about the noise. Apparently we bang doors. Well never had a complaint in 30 years living next door to various people in houses and flats. But I said yes, I know you have a baby, we will tell the kids to be quieter. Woman seemed off her face on something - drugs or methodone, I think, not alcohol. Slurring badly and rambling incoherently. Opened with "I'm not being funny but..."  And because I was alone in the house I was friendly to her (felt  vulnerable, alone in house late eving with kids. Forgot to say but it was nearly 10om when the druggie knocked). She did let slip they had come from a private rental in York, where they had moved after being in social housing and having a dispute with a neighbour. That set my alarms ringing.


Anyway, their second week there and we started hearing unholy rows. The man calling her the worst names you can imagine. And shouting at these very young kids. A day or two later my husband was in the back garden, again after 9pm, and the man pops up IN our back garden, in the dark, getting abusive about us slamming doors (which we don't) and every other word - to a total stranger he never met in his life was the f word. My husband told him he wouldn't be spoken to like that by anyone and to get out of our garden. Man scuttled off.


I rang the council and they fobbed us off despite these idiots having an Introductory tenancy (which will turn into a secure tenancy in Sept if we can't act fast). But their dispute man did go round there and told me later the man looked him right in the eye and denied shouting in the house or garden. Should say their arguments so violent, we could hear every f and c word through the wall. More to the point - so could my kids. We're hardly thugs - my husband works ina museum, I am a carer and ex teacher, and my older kids are all at uni. These folks are unemployed and seem to feel a bit inadequate, I think, seeing everyone else go to work each day. Although oddly, when we got a new car, they got a brand new £30,000 car a few weeks later. The council bloke told me he said to them they can hear noise from us as they have no furniture and no carpets.


He reported us for banging doors, tit for tat (which I understand was his difficulty in York and why they had had to move to a detached house).

Council man told us not to worry - they'd have to record it to prove it and he neer rang back or filled in the noise diary.


That was all Sept.


Xmas, a copper knocked on our door late at night and asked us if we knew anything about some solar lights "stolen" from their garden. I don't think they knocked at the other neighbours so clearly had been sent to us (only we adjoin them so part of my problem is, the other lovely neighbours don't hear what we hear).


I said no, and in fact, I didnt think they'd ever had lights in their garden (insurance sca presumably, although my husband reckons he saw some of those Poundland lights!)


Meantime although the rows between her and him were quieter (or not right next to our wall any more), we noticed she got a job locally - which shocked me as it was in a care home for the elderly and she was clearly a druggie). And the man, left alone with the kids, was shouting the most obscene and violent abuse at the kids. It came to a head one day when the baby cried in this weird way - I have 5 kids and have never heard crying like it - followed by the man shrieking at it, for about half an hour, that it was an effing c word, and a piece of s, etc etc (bear in midn this is a one year old). I was so shaken as my 11 year old was there and heard it all and I thought if I do nothing, what message does it give my kid? So I popped next door other side where nice neighbour works with troubled kids, and asked her advice, hoping she'd heard something too (she hadn't). But she told me to not hesitate but go back in and ring SS NOW! Even though we didn;t even know their names.


So I did.  Well over the next few weeks, a parade of social workers but, after a couple of months, the kids still with the druggies and in fact seemed signed off as after one epic afternoon long visit, no more social workers.  The shouting and abuse at the kids seems intermittent. I feel disbelieved. We have done all we can, and didn't want to be those neighbours castigated in the press when one or both of these kids is hurt. But the council did nothing and SS did nothing (although I was told they had accessed the man's history prior to the first visit and I noticed they did turn up mob handed, which makes us think he has form).  Thing is, council it turns out had only taken one previous landlord reference - and hadn't known they had previously been kicked out of/left HA or council housing due to the fact the man couldn't cope with being in a semi detached...


They are a weird couple. He is always polishing the car, a little bald, inadequate looking bully of a man looks about 60 but I suspect is in his late 30s. She is always wearing a black coat with long sleeves (hiding needle marks?) even in this heat, and told me she is 28. She screams at the kids as much as him, so it is hard to see what the dynamic is re the domestic violence. She, if anything, seems more weird and violent than him. But he is very creepy - watching my kids play football over the road and rushes to his widows twitching curtains if anyone shuts a car door out front.


Well, it went comparatively quiet. We got new car - they got new car.Our older sons came back from uni so we started our summer routine of weekend BBQs in back garden - lo and behold last week a shiny BBQ turns up in their garden.


Last night I went out. When I got back, noticed their cheapo BBQ cover had blown into my garden. No biggie. Wehave fierce winds on the Vale of York - once my kids' sandpit cover blew 2 miles across the fields. Thinking nothing of it and doing them a favour, I put it back over the wall.


Nine o clock last night just sat down to my autistic son's favourite show, he's been looking forward to that episode for weeks when a knock at the door. 2 policemen. Asked to come in. Apparently, the neighbour's BBQ cover (that thing I saw in my garden worth about 50p tops) had been 'stolen'. I explained, several times over, no it hadn't - we found it blown into our garden and threw it back over.


Coppers bemused. The man, they said was adamant he had Velcro'd it. I just thought - they have 2 toddlers. It was probably unfastened. Not my problem. Coppers I think were confused as they must have claimed it still was 'stolen' - but went back round and came back to our house, this time laughing, 5 mins later to say it was there, as I said...


Now. Someone tell me. At what point is calling the police on neighbours harrassment? Twice in six months is twice too much.  We have a three foot high fence and no money to replace it.


Only after the coppers left (still laughing at the nutjobs and agreeing with me that police had better ways to spend their time) I remembered seeing the woman scurrying out and picking up the BBQ cover after I lobbed it back over the wall...  Maybe she was in the kitchen window waiting all along.


Later my teenager told me he overheard the man talking to the three year old saying "Some c-word has stolen our BBQ cover" - my son was shocked to hear the man use that word to a child. (I wasn't - me and my 13 year old have heard him in the garden calling the kid "little wanker" and when he realised we were behind the washing on the line, started taking to it in a totally diff tone of voice).


Sorry this is so long. It sounds petty but the pettiness is their's (ringing the police and sending them round to accuse you of stealing a cheap plastic BBQ cover you'd already thrown back into their garden, and before that, about stealing solar lights???) 


So what grounds would you proceed on?  Council have offered me recording device to capture the sound of them abusing the kids verbally - but apparently we would have to have it in our hands all day and press when we heard something.


Council are coming out to see about giving me a taller fence but am told even if it's approved, I won't get it for 2 years.  These NFHs will have secure tenancy in Sept so we need to act fast.  Police? Council? Neither? Is this harassment? I don't thnik am being paranoid when I say, thinking about it some more, I have realised she was hovering waiting for me to throw the thing back which makes me think maybe she chucked it over in the first place (maybe unknown to him from what my son overheard).  So what could they throw over the fence next to pretend we stole?  My husband's birthday but he is spending all evening putting locks on our unlocked sheds, so they can't go in there at night and plant something as so far everything they have tried, to get us intro trouble, has backfired...  I am willing to bet they earwigged us and the coppers laughing about them being nutjobs. But I don't think this bloke is going to give up.


It has robbed me of my peace of mind. I have loved this house - my home  - so much. Now I would move tomorrow if it wasnt for the fact we have always loved it here and my autistic son takes a lot of happiness from our home and where it is. And why should I move?


Also why do councils bother with introductory tenancies if they then won't act to get abusive tenants out at the FIRST sign of trouble?

Edited by AbsoluteIdiot, 10 June 2014 - 04:03 PM.

Lady Godiva

Posted 11 June 2014 - 01:02 PM

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I think as a quick way of recording any evidence and keeping an eye on your own property, I would install covert CCTV.

Obviously, only facing onto your own property but if it has sound recording, you could probably pick up on the rows/child abuse too.


Regarding the child abuse, I would ring the police at the time that it is happening and I would do that every time.

You may hear the disgusting language but you have no clue as to whether there is more to it than that and that's what you can tell the police.

Say there is violent shouting at the young children and you are worried.


Keep a diary of everything that happens. Dates, times, what was going on and how it made you feel. Only do this for a few weeks and then hand it to the Council ASB Team.

If they don't acknowledge what you've told them, you can make an official complaint about their lack of action.

I would totally not worry about the false allegations and visits from the police.

There's only been a couple. I would say differently if it was more and the police seem to know what is going on already and fingers crossed will support you. They seem to have the measure of the situation.


You said you thought the woman was on drugs. It does seem that a lot of what has happened could be paranoia and psychotic behaviour. The sudden outbursts and rants at the kids and an obsession with thinking you are stealing their stuff.


I would be mindful of the tenancy too, if I was in your situation and try and resolve it before they get their permanent tenancy.


You could also speak to the Neighbourhood Policing Team. Just an informal chat to see what they suggest.


Good Luck x


Posted 11 June 2014 - 03:34 PM



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Thanks. Neighbourhood Policing team sounds the way to go. Thanks for responding. I feel very down about this. Have always been a tolerant and cosiderate neighbour - but this makes us feel powerless being in a situation where things are being lobbed into our garden then accused of 'stealing' them... It is very weird. So weird I can't help wondering where it will end.


And yes, paranoia - what I thought. Probably goes with the drugs.


Council were unsympathetic and unhelpful at first (and that was their designated officer to deal with 'low level neighbour disputes' - his helpful remark was: "It's social housing. What do you expect?"  But after a while and after he'd gone and looked at their file, he seemed to have an about face and was more supportive.


Trouble is, you feel they think you're Hyacinth Bouquet or something - yet for me there is no planet on which I want my 11 year old listening to the constant verbal child abuse (and the man is very sweary) - even if the SS think it is OK for a 3 and a 1 year old...


This afternoon, two doors down asked me what the police were doing on Monday. I told her (well shouted across, as we have another neighbour's garden between us!) I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't hear it.


They were out there polishing their car this morning (unemployed but have a more flashy car than all the employed neighbours put together, go figure). Had music blaring out (they only do this when polishing the car but they do seem to spend most days cleaning it...) And the minute a council van pulled up in my drive, they switched it off. So they are definitely playing a game.


Posted 18 June 2014 - 09:18 PM



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So we made the fence higher at the top part (utility area by the houses) - we can't afford to re-fence the whole garden, but had some wood enough to make one there so theoretically it is less likely for their junk to blow over our fence. (Although mysteriously it did - the day after. I chucked it back).


Today - he has been drilling and hammering all day. Three CCTV cameras (checking out the crime rate for this area it's close to 0 - no one in any of the vilages round here - even people with vast houses - bothers with CCTV).


Worse still the one at the back is pointing right down my garden. Not at his own house. Not towards the holy BBQ. Right. Down. Our. Garden.


Now I already had concerns about him and his OH standing at the back door glaring at the kids when they play out. Was about to  get out our big paddling pool which stays up all summer...  My kids play there with their friends over the summer holiday.


What is the legality of this man recording images of kiddies?  Can anything be done?  Ive been told elsewhere to ring 101 tomorrow. The council don't give a damn. Is this legal?  I wouldn't mind it pointing at his own house or the problem area in his garden where he pretends things are stolen from (that blow away). It would mean we could prove it wasn't us doing anything. But this camera points right down the entire length of my garden and the one on the side of the house? Points at where my kids play football over the road.


Is it possible to get this treated as a child protection issue?


Posted 19 June 2014 - 10:39 AM


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It can be very difficult to know exactly what a CCTV camera is actually pointing at due to the different types of cameras and lenses available. That said, if you have cause for concern then I would call the police. Article 8 of the Human Rights Act covers your right to privacy so that's probably the way to go, but you would need to show to the police that the camera is causing harassment. If you explain to the police that you believe the camera covers areas of your property that your children play in then that would help.


The defence your neighbour may use is that they are using the camera to capture evidence of criminal or anti social behaviour but if there is no reason to believe that you are doing anything wrong, they shouldn't get far with this.


Covering the road is a bit different as you are considered to be in a public place and the neighbour could argue that they are protecting their car (assuming it's parked on the road).


The police should go to your neighbour and ask to see the view of the camera, then ask them to move it if necessary. When we installed our CCTV we invited the police to view our images and they picked up on a tiny portion of a  window in the far distance that was in the picture. We moved it straight away and they were happy.


The other alternative is to block the view of the camera if you can - a fence panel, large shrub, bamboo etc would do the trick depending on how high the camera has been mounted.

Lady Godiva

Posted 19 June 2014 - 01:55 PM

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I agree.


Report it and see what is said.

You may find that it will be sorted.

From another angle, if they are in Council housing, I've heard that they can be quite strict about giving permission to have CCTV, so it may be worth asking them too. Have a look to see if there is anything about it in the tenancy agreement/residents handbook/online too.

If you know what their policy is supposed to be before you talk to them, that would help.

As I said before, if they are unhelpful, you can make a complaint about them.


I still think that their obsession with watching you and accusing you of stealing their stuff is probably down to drug use but evenso, their issues shouldn't interfere with your life in any way x


Posted 19 June 2014 - 02:04 PM



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Yes, these are people who moved into an unfurnished house with no removal van, little white van or owt - just one car load of stuff. No furniture delivered since. No carpets. (Concrete floor downstairs and they have toddlers) and the council community officer who visited them told us their house had no furniture or carpets which is why they could hear sounds from our house. They claim to be unemployed (but the man now goes out all day Sat and Sun, dolled up).


So they have spent hundreds of pounds on cameras for a house they only have Introductory tenancy to, that is empty?  Got to be drugs, eh?  Or paranoia.  Call me nuts but if I had an empty house, concrete downstairs floor and two toddlers, Id be buying carpets and a sofa - not a CCTV. Council man (the useless one who makes excuses for them) is going to go round. I will ring 101 tomorrow, as it is my son's bday today and don't want coppers turning up!


At the least I am going for an extension of their introductory tenancy so they won't automatically be secure tenants in Sept. For that I think I may have to go over this community officer's head.


ETA: Council did say on the phone that they will actually turn up and inspect ASAP - and I mentioned we have had two days worth of drilling so surely he is wrecking the fabric of the house, (I am assuming without permission). I wouldn't mind a camera at ground level pointing at the thing he keeps thinking is being stolen as when he gets footage of it blowing away (Vale of York - everything blows away) he will realise what a fool he's been. But it is 20 foot above the BBQ and pointing right down the gardens.

Edited by AbsoluteIdiot, 19 June 2014 - 02:06 PM.

Lady Godiva

Posted 19 June 2014 - 02:57 PM

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My current neighbour has left a dog barking for days at a time and sometimes plays loud music.

I reported it and got a luke warm response initially and got sent all round, being told to phone everyone myself about the dog.

When the HA eventually went round, they found that he'd done considerable damage to the flat (doors being punched in/front door had been replaced etc) and then they suddenly became much more proactive!


If they don't like what they see and realise that there may be financial loss to themselves, they will probalby do something, so that may work in your favour!


It's strange what you say about them having no possessions, as I have a man who lives downstairs from me and I rarely hear him but if he sneezes or coughs, it's like an echo.

One of my other neighbours told me he has no furniture apart from a chair and a bed!


In a way, I expect he can hear us upstairs, as there is me and two teenagers and his house is so empty that there is nothing to absorb the noise.

On this subject, and I can tell you are a sensible person, don't focus too much on things they do that are weird but don't affect you and try not to mention these things too much to the council.

Just try and mainly mention things that interfere with the enjoyment of your own lives x


Posted 19 June 2014 - 06:32 PM


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If ur a council tenant to put CCTV up they have to have permission from the council, as this is there property

Ok brand new 30 grand car they can get this on benefits if they are "disabled" or in my nfh they lie that that are


Posted 20 June 2014 - 01:58 PM



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Well the woman is off her face, so I suppose they are passing off her drug addiction as disability... Also the only way they could have got to the top of the housing list, when there's peeps in real need of a home.


They just came back and the usual swearing and screaming at the child in the front garden (am guessing their CCTV will have no sound, then!)


It's the man's constant shouting of the c and f words that ruin our enjoyment of our home. As Lady Godiva says, these are the things to emphasise. I have just ruing the council for a contact email of the two people above this idiot our council employ as Community Officer (or Thug Enabler as he'd be better called). So if I have no joy by Monday will email them as it is vital we get these people dealt with before their tenancy converts to a secure one...


The fact they are spending out on CCTV suggests they fully intend to put down roots here. Which in itself is disturbing.

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Lady Godiva

Posted 20 June 2014 - 02:29 PM

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I was involved in a resident group in my area to improve the way that the Housing deal with Anti-social behaviour.

The top subject was the fact that all participants said that they felt that the HA pandered to perpetrators. The answer was 'we don't, even though it may look that way'

What sort of answer is that?!


They do pander to them and your description of the Community Officer or 'Thug Enabler' is spot on.


I think I would have phoned the police about the swearing at the child. It is one part of the situation where you need to start building up a picture of what is going on.

It's a serious issue.


I would still consider CCTV yourself but I'd always go for hidden/covert. Maybe I'm a bit sneaky but if it's the only way you can catch some seriously bad behaviour, then so be it.

When it is on display, the perpetrator either stops (if you are lucky) or just modifies their behaviour and starts doing something else! x

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