NFHiB: Jokes File

10 Way's to 'Persuade' your Neighbour From Hell to move out?

1. Order a takeaway and other food to their house and pick it up at their doorstep claiming that you don't have a phone.

2. Stand over the plants in your garden with a garden hose and scream, "I have your life in my hands, bow down to me!". Then point at each one and declare them good or bad plants, while watering the bad ones.

3. Bring them restraining orders on inanimate objects in their house. (i.e. chairs, books, lamps, etc.)

4. Ask them if you can put your rubbish in their dustbins, if they ask why say, "Mine are full of bodies", then stutter and say, "I, uh, mean other rubbish." Walk away laughing hysterically.

5. Patrol the perimeter of your garden while carrying a broom. If they come close state that their is a 3 foot neutral area between the two garden's.

6.At night transplant the plants in their garden. In the morning say, "Looks like they're on the move again."

7. When they're watching TV, pull a deck chair behind their window. Sit down with ice-cream, popcorn and a drink and ask them if they could open a window so you can hear too.

8. Build snowmen with name tags of your neighbours. Each day hack off a different part of their body.

9.Use your TV remote control to change the channels on their TV from outside. If asked why, say you detest such programs. (The more educational the program the better.)

10.Dig shallow graves at night filling your garden with brown grave patches. Make markers out of household appliances.