Spotlight: Are we victims of our own silence? - Feedback
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Are we victims of our own silence?
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From the NFHiB Forum:
How did we evolve?
NFHiB was born in 2002 from a need to help and support others who have Neighbours From Hell. We do this by offering the benefit of shared experiences, knowledge and empathy. We know and understand the affects a nuisance neighbour can have on people from all walks of society.
Today, we are proud to enable many thousands of members in the NFHiB Forum and do so within our most important ethos:
Support for all, which is free for all.
What people say?
Two key messages that I got from your website are that I AM NOT ALONE and that I will not lower myself to their level. Your message will keep me from either crying or doing something nasty to them. THANK YOU! - S
Can not believe so many people are going through what we are. Fab site, will read every bit. - Jenny
Your site has literally kept me sane. - Cath
I thank you so much for your article. - B
I am currently suffering a form of harassment but no one I try and get help from sees it? Thanks to your site, I now can show them I AM BEING harassed. A person walks across my window every morning, sending me nuts. It only started last week and definitely is aimed at me. I have depression & social phobia. Hope your site continues to help others as it helped me. Thanks for existing. - Darren
Your information has been absolutely invaluable. I now have all the facts and more to proceed with my complaint. Thank you. - Stephen
Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is only a small message as I have to go to see to the children. I have struggled for 2 years with this and have felt totally alone and disbelieved. Reading your help has given me some strength to try and deal with this, thank you. - S
Oh my god! You have my NFH down to a 'T', lol, and it's funny that she has a narcissistic personality disorder. She had almost every point on the list, thank you for your help. I'm off shopping for some new sunglasses! - Sharon
Helpful and encouraging reading the symptoms relating to suffering as a victim from a neighbour from hell, and that it is recognised by sites such as yours. On good days it is hard to explain to others that it is actually affecting your everyday existence and on bad days too low, to even bother to explain. We accept that bullying goes on in the school environment and in the workplace, but trying to explain that a bullying neighbour has even control over the security within your own home leaves no escape, no sanctuary. Thanks for the site, helpful. - Jacqueline
Thanks for a easy to use web site, with good suggestions about where to go for help. - Angela
Hello! Just wanted to say what a brilliant site this is and what a great help it has been for me, as I have had on-going problems with my anti-social neighbours. I have learnt so much just by reading about everyone else's problems, which are far greater than mine and by reading your helpful information. Thank you! - Kaytee
Very helpful article, hadn't realised that my NFH was a narcissist, but she ticks every box! Some really useful and good information. - Karen
Having read 'understanding your NFH', I was amazed. It was as if you knew the guy. I pretty much realised he must have had a bad childhood and was self loathing to act the way he does. Thank you so much, now I realise they are all the same. If the cure works for one it must work for them all, including mine. - Gerry
Victoria's story sounds like a mirror image of my experiences and 12 years on it has not changed. The housing do nothing to stop the intimidation of elderly neighbours by a 48 year old man and so it goes on. Without the N.F.H. forum l would have gone completely bonkers by now. - Mysty
Hello all. I would just like to say 'thank you'. This website has given me courage and knowing I'm not alone is comforting. I won't go into my NFH with you as I have had a lot to bear over the past 10 years. I'm sure I will be in touch again soon for advice. Thank you. - Name Supplied
Wow, I thought that you couldn't do anything as my neighbours are teenagers and every weekend they get ready to play booming music from 6pm - 10pm. Then, when they return at 12 midnight or 1am they run about their property screaming and shouting and have woken me up every weekend for about 2-3 hours. When I approach them they swear and insult me and do not quieten down. I have seen them in their sitting room smoking drugs so I suspect the behaviour is down to this. I have read what I can do and there is hope as my son who is 13 years and myself are getting a bit annoyed with this type of disturbance every weekend. So thank you for this information as it's a real help to know that people care. - Dani
I am not alone. This has been very helpful as my NFH always watches me if I am walking up the road or cutting the lawn. It gets to me, but after reading this I hope I can be a lot stronger. Thanks. - Michelle
Thank god for your site, every time I feel low I log on and it helps me keep things in perspective. Love the humour! - Sharon
Folks, very interesting and good to see that I am not alone. Some bits most amusing. I feel better already, or as a NFH might say, 'You f*****g w*****s, you stole my dog!' Thanks very much. I shall be back for more. - Roger
Thank you for putting that on-line about NFH as I have the text-book case of new people who have changed my life in 2 months. However I have a neighbour who is good on the further side and I told her at first I would not survive, but now I know I will, thanks to you and other victims. - Kate
I am not alone. I have felt alone and intimidated by my neighbour for years. It has followed the paths of police, mediation and reason. All have failed. Your articles on understanding the motivation of the NFH have helped me feel sane again, Thanks. - John
Amazing site. Your description of my neighbours is so frighteningly accurate that I assume you have lived next door to them for years. Shame I didn't find the site four years ago! Anyway it appears I have done everything correctly and a crown court case is in the offing. I was particularly interested by the information that NFH's will make up stories based on trivia, turn it around and exaggerate it out of all proportion and then actually believe it themselves. I thought I was going mad! Thanks again for some peace of mind. When (confidence see) I win my case I may have some handy hints to drop onto your site. - Nick S
I was at my wits end, being intimidated, harassed and watched. I live in the middle of two neighbours, one of which I fell out with and whom has now joined forces with the other neighbour to make my life hell. This has continued for many years now. I found your site informative and helpful and will continue to access it to help me sustain from going completely mental. Thank You. - Victoria
Love the site, it's nice to know I am not alone with my NFH, the help and support is fantastic and the self-help articles provide valuable insight. Just downloaded the screensaver, which is fab by the way and I wondered if you would consider making/selling other items like a car sticker, pens, mugs etc. A car sticker would be the most important, that way it's free advertising and makes more people aware of the support that is available here. I know I would proudly display one in my back window. - Karen
Today I was feeling down but after taking a look at the humour section, I heard something come that I haven't done in such a long time: laughing my socks off. I hope to see more cartoons, games and jokes about NFH. It helps relieve so much built up stress and tension. - Catangel
A friend recommended this site after hearing the worries myself and friends have about our NFH. I'd just like to say this site has been a mine field of information for me, especially finding out our legal rights etc. Hopefully now we are more aware of our rights we can get our problems sorted. Keep up the good work and thankyou! - Ms M Eadie
Congratulations on the selfless act of helping others. It was a pleasant surprise to discover your site and to read and listen to the varied advice and experience of your members. Keep up the good work and once again well done. - Cliff
I too am sooooo very grateful for a site like this...the people here are our neighbours in their troubles! As far as I am concerned most of my neighbours are `non-existent`....so thankyou for all your comments, support etc. - tiredofitall
Your site is like a gift from god - when placed in a situation like NFH living next to you, it can seem like there's nowhere to turn and you feel like you are constantly up against a brickwall. However your site changed that, people like myself now know there are others who suffer like us and that we are not alone. But most of all the site gives us info on where to go and what to do, enabling victims of this kind of abuse to make a stand. This I'm eternally grateful for and shall be a dedicated user of this site, for as long as I stay at my current address or if I'm really lucky, my NFH move. - Rachel Masson
After reading your help pages, I am convinced that you personally know my NFHs - the description of NPD could have been written about them! What a superb site - the information will come in very useful for dealing with these bullies; it is nice to find a site that deals with all sorts of ASB including the type of NFH who relies on appearing very well-to-do and having some social status to get away with the kind of childish behaviour I have experienced; too many sites deal only with issues around youths, gangs, noise etc. Keep up the good work! - Janice
I live nextdoor to a couple who are a nuisance to say the least but who lie making it look like it is us who are the nuisance. Your leaflet is very informative. - Miss Kim Stockbridge
I am so glad to have found a wonderful bunch! I think I may be able to try to tackle my problems. And who would have thought that people you cannot see would be there for you? It just makes the difference knowing that's all. THANK YOU A LOT! - Karen Smith
Your website is a godsend to people who have nowhere else to turn. You act as a councillor and friend and stop people from literally going mad. Thanking you is not enough! It is also nice to 'talk' to those in the same situation as yourself. Merry Christmas 2004! - Andy Wardlow
I AM NOT ALONE ....this site is the only thing that is keeping me sane at the moment, thankyou sooooo much - Helen - Helen Woodcock
I come to the site often and think it is very good..I recommend it to people I come across whilst at work, I deal with victims who are trying to live with asb and are looking for a way forward or help...keep up the good work.. - anon
After a hard fought battle with the Council to have them moved I ended up going to see my own solicitor as it was making me ill. After taking the neighbours to court the Neighbour signed a form of undertaking and was eventually moved. I have such lovely neighbours now, so it just shows that the Council are now taking a more serious view of combatting anti-social behaviour. - Pauline Phillips
I empathize with everyone who has neighbour problems - I've been there and it wasn't pleasant. - Greg
For over a decade, I have had a very disruptive life due to awful neighbours and sharers, moving 30 times to get away. I wish I had discovered this site some time ago. - Joan
This is a very good site. We would like to create a link to it from our crime reduction website, Operation Scorpion. - Lara Curtayne, Operation Scorpion Website Officer
So nice to find a site where you can share your concerns, when you have NFH trouble you can feel so alone in dealing with it. Well done! - Yvonne
This site has helped me immensely. Living with a NFH made me ill, I suffered depression, felt useless and alone, like I was the problem. I had no confidence, and a lack of self worth. This site helped me realise I was not alone. I had friends, who were in the same boat. People offered advice, sympathy, but more over - understanding as they knew what a NFH could be like and how they could destroy you. I am eternally grateful, and so glad I found this site, I hope I can now offer others the same understanding, advice and friendship, as I have gained. - Eeyore
This is a brilliant & very helpful site, consisting of people who are caring & considerate & know what all of us with NFH are going through. Keep up the good work & Many Thanks. - Stephen Perry
This site saved my sanity. I cannot even begin to explain how down I felt when I first found it. I was welcomed, given loads of great advice and lots of sympathy and support for which I thank the members from the bottom of my heart. I still have the occasional problem but now I know that I can talk about it here and get some fantastic responses which always lift my spirits. A truly great site. - Misty
I have learnt quite a bit from here, and the members are helpful, I have had a weight lifted from my shoulders! The articles were v good too. - Tomthumb
What a fantastic site, packed full of useful info - can't thank the people enough who posted to my plea for help and advice on a boundary fence issue. Certainly given your website to others. Cheers. - tazza 64
I found you a year too late! What a fantastic site. My very noisy neighbours have finally been rehoused after a whole year of depressing, stressful, noisy, time consuming year. Keep up the good work guys! - Wendy